Bye Bye Baby Fat

I’ve recently started working out again. Though it’s very hard to do sometime because either Annabelle wants my boob, or Jade decides she wants me to play tea parties with her just as I’m warming up. I’ve tried the waking up before they do, yea that did not work! My husband would wake me up as he’s leaving for work and I refused to wake up. So now, I try to get Annabelle down for her afternoon nap and do it then. Jades starting to “work out” with me, but her definition of working out is having a dance party. I usually have my music on, so yea to her it is a dance party. I’m trying to get back into the habit of working out every day and not skipping days. So far so good. I’m down six pounds and extremely proud of myself. I don’t want to be that parent that takes her kids to the park and just sits her butt down on a bench because she’s too tired to play. Not saying I just sit there while they play, I play with them. I want to be more active with my girls. Annabelle can barely walk, but Jade can run for miles! It’s just a matter of time until Annabelle is right behind Jade and I’m right behind both of them. Not only am I wanting to get fit for my girls but also for myself. I feel beautiful already, but sometimes I feel like I don’t look beautiful. And I guess one way of looking beautiful is looking the way I want. I want to feel confident in my own skin. I will keep you all updated on my progress.

Stay at Home Mom to a Working Mom

I had an interview this past Monday, it went great. I felt so confident walking in. I felt confident during the interview. I was even more confident once the interview was done. Tuesday passed and still no phone call or email. I began to think I didn't get the job. Then today, in the process of helping my mom move into her new place my phone went off. I got an email saying the job was mine if I still wanted it. Of course I said yes!! The job sounds just great for me. It would start off as a part time, two or three days a week. I'm still breastfeeding Annabelle so I know this transition is going to be difficult. The hours are going to be mornings from 9am- 12ish. So the hours are good, very flexible. I'm so excited to start working but so nervous on leaving my girls. I've been a stay at home mom for 3 years now. So, this is going to be hard for me. I was talking to my husband about it, and I began to cry. I cried because I know how hard its going to be for Annabelle to be away from me. I know she'll be fine, but I'm not sure she's ready to be away from me yet. I mean, I'm ready to start work, but totally not ready to leave my girls. I feel like this is going to be good for us though. Ive been away from Jade before but never Annabelle. I'm excited to start this new journey.

Boogies and Vomit

As I sit here writing this, Annabelle is cuddled up on me. A week now that she’s been sick. Poor baby can’t seem to get a break. First she had a high fever, then she couldn’t keep anything down. Now she has an extremely stuffy nose. I’ve been thrown up on about 3 times today alone. I have boogies all over my yoga pants, and vomit down my bra.

Seeing your child sick is just horrible. Knowing you can only do so much for them. I just want her to be herself wonderful, silly self again. I want to hear her laugh, see her smile. I’m comforting her as much as I can. When she cry's, I can barely hear her voice. She looks so sad and miserable. I’ve now postponed her birthday party until further notice. Any recommendations on home remedies?  

Shhhh Jade!!!

“Mommy don’t wipe your face on the towel, Daddy dried his balls on it!!” I couldn’t stop laughing at what Jade just told me. Looks like she heard me yell at my husband to stop drying his balls on my hair towel. Now every time he showers Jade yells, “daddy’s balls are wet!!” She finds it very funny saying the word balls. She knows what a penis is, what balls are, and what a vagina is. Let’s just hope she doesn’t say this in front of normal people.

To Post or Not to Post

My phone is always ready to snap pictures of my girls. I love posting pictures/videos of them on my social media pages. I have mostly family and close friends on my accounts so I know exactly who is viewing them. I like to keep my people updated. From my girls being born, to them getting their first tooth, to them walking, I post them. Not all parents like to post about their children, and that’s totally fine. If you’re like me, post away, you don’t need anyone’s permission or approval. I’ve actually posted a few pictures of me breastfeeding Annabelle, received both positive and negative feedback on those. But I really do not care what people have to say about me nor my pictures. Anyone can state their opinion, but nowhere did I ask for it. If you do not like what I post, keep scrolling and move on. I teach Jade, if she doesn’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all. If an almost three year old can grasp that concept, then I think you adults can to. I’ve deleted a lot of people from my social media account that I no longer talk to or see, that way I can keep my circle small. I keep those that really matter. Of course I love to make new friends.

Nurturing MYSELF

I feel like I should take care of myself more, but I never have the time. With two toddlers that need my undivided attention 24/7 and a husband, how can I manage to also take care of myself? There are nights where I don’t shower because I’m nervous Annabelle might wake up. I haven’t cut my toe nails in let’s say a little over a month. Yes I know that’s a long time, they feel like claws! I sometimes forget to put deodorant on because my one year old is needing something.

I would like to treat myself gentler this year. It can be to take a nice bath once a week, alone. So I can relax and enjoy some quiet time. This will most likely happen once my girls are asleep. Another can be to get a pedicures. I use to get a pedicure every two weeks, so I’ll be lucky if I get one at least once a month. Pretty toes makes me feel pretty. Even going on walks helps me nurture myself. I told my husband I would like to take little family walks after dinner at least every other day. We went with our girls, Jade on her scooter and Annabelle on her bike. It was very nice, calming.  

I see my living room filled with toys, and laughter coming from my toddlers, excited to see momma home. That is why it’s hard for me to have some “me” time. My one year old is breastfed so it’s hard to go anywhere without her. I feel like if I leave them for a few hours, I would enjoy it. Am I harsh for feeling this? I think any mom would think that though. I am going to start to take better care of myself.

How can I manage to take care of my two girls and husband but cannot manage to care for myself. I am going to create a routine for myself, which I feel will help me be more relaxed and be less overwhelmed.

For my mind, I want to do activities that help me feel alive. Such as jogging, it makes me feel free. I can roam free with no one to bug me. I can stop worry about everything and everyone. I am going to take breaks from my girls, listen to calming music, and have fun. Breaks five minutes here and there, which I feel will help me yell less. Dance parties with my girls, while listening to music and having fun doing it.

For my body, I am going to start exercising regularly. I am going to have a sleeping schedule. I am going to eat nourishing foods and increase my water intake. I am also going to start loving my body again. My body does not define me. My body is amazing. I gave birth to two beautiful girls via C-section. I love my stretch marks and I wear them proud. In my heart I know the one way I can nurture my body most this year is to love it.

For my heart and soul, I am going to pray more. I am going to forgive those that do or do not deserve it. I am going to find purpose and meaning to my life.  I want to accomplish peace, serenity, control, happiness, and to be a better person than yesterday.

Annabelle's Turning One

Turning a year old tomorrow, oh how this little girl is growing so fast. Annabelle just started walking a few days ago, and she's so excited. She falls and gets right back up, with the help of her older sissy Jade. My tough girl! Annabelle has taught me so much, one, being how to be more patient, which is great because I wasn't so patient before. I think the breastfeed helped a lot. Wow, a whole year breastfeeding! That was my initial goal, but now that we have reached it, I think I'm going to continue until Annabelle is ready to self wean. I love the bonding time between us, its like we are in our own little world. Even though she bites me because she thinks its funny, I love seeing her smile and hearing her giggle. Tomorrow we are going to have something small at our house, then in two weeks we are having her birthday party. We look forward to celebrating with our close Family and Friends.

Welcome 2015

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year surrounded by family and friends. I enjoyed my New Years Eve at my grandmothers house with my family, though we didn't stay up until midnight, it was a blast. Husband decided to take a few shots, so not only did I have to watch our girls, I had to also watch him. Is anyone making any new year resolutions? I have a few for myself and my family. For those of you that do have personal resolutions, no matter what they are, if you believe you can do it, then do it. Don't just say it. It maybe to lose weight, or to become a better person then last year, if you set your mind to it, I believe you can accomplish anything. Do not let anyone tell you that you cant do it. You do not need negative people like that in your life. Set Goals, get you're priorities straight, accomplish! There's a 365 page chapter ready to be written, write a good one. Happy New Years.